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Saturday, September 4, 2010

A spread about my weight issue...what is the problem?

Not the best picture!
I loosely based this spread on one I saw online:
There are 9 cards total.
If you read these from left to right, row by row, you will see EXACTLY what the problem is!
I have been daydreaming myself into a blissful state of DENIAL.  (Saw a Pic. of myself tonight and almost had a stroke when I realized how much weight I have gained.)
Now according to what I remember from this spread, I should use cards 1,3,9 and 7 to figure out how to fix this situation.
Three of Wands
Tower
Ten of Swords
The World
The key to my problem is number 5
Seven of Cups

So, here is my summery:
Since I have been living in a state of FANTASY...I need to concentrate on taking care of ME for a change.  I will need to CHANGE everything.  I will be miserable for a little while and then I will reach my GOAL.
Easier said...everyone in my little world has needs-I am the one who takes care of everyone.  I didn't sign up for this job, it just sort of worked out that way!  I really don't mind "giving", in fact, I am a giver and would not know how to be anything else.  But, right now, this very moment, I am seeing that I have neglected me in this equation.  I need to change the routine and stop this nonsense!  The Tower is showing me how I felt when I looked at that picture tonight..."it all came crashing down".  I see my children in this spread, I see my relationship too.  I literally think the World is showing me a "very in shape" picture of the woman I can be.  (You know the Deviant Moon, it can be really literal sometimes!)  The Ten of Swords...my aches and pains, my feeling like I don't have anything to wear...yes, I have been miserable...yet, I chose to ignore these things.  

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