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Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Ten of Swords

The Ten of Swords
Rider Waite
Ten of Swords
Deviant Moon

I was looking at my Horoscope Spread tonight, the third house is brothers, sisters, communication, early education.  It didn't really hit me until tonight-My (only) brother died in 1993.  Here I have the Ten of Swords.  Wow.    I had never experienced sadness so deeply before - and I never have since.  During that part of my life I was feeling as if nothing would ever be "right" again and spent way too much time doing all of the wrong things.  I'm not sure how to explain this but, I lost who I was and had no idea where I was going.  It took me years to fully regain any real happiness in my life.  I remember that one day, I simply "decided" that I was not dead and I had to do more with my life than just go through the motions.  I mean, how long can you remain numb?  
There is always something to look forward to, things will get better.
Well, that's enough rambling for one night...funny how a card can take you back to a memory and show you just how you got where you are today...

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