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Saturday, March 26, 2011

A Spiritual Journey with Reiki:

This is fairly long, I've tried to capture the feelings, thoughts and visuals that I've experienced.

My Reiki journey has taken me through level II and I wanted to share this experience with anyone who might be interested.
Level I was amazing and awakened something that I always felt was just below the surface.  The attunements for this level were filled with images of color and light, each Chakra glowing with its color and expanding.  The purple flame of Reiki is an expression I had heard but never realized that I could see this for myself.
Level II as some of you know is when you learn the symbols.  These three powerful symbols seemed to intensify everything Reiki is to me and further added to my awe of this Ancient Art.
Before going to class, I pulled three cards.  Here are the cards and here is how the day turned out.
This is what happened on the day of my class:
The class was to be small, but when I got there, I was the only one who showed up!  I was a little worried that we would have to re schedule but the Master Teacher said that there must be a reason this happened and we would just go on as scheduled.  When she finished my attunement for this Level, I was totally blown away!  I saw rolling balls of colored light that swirled and sparked with energy never imagined.  I saw purple clouds rolling in and mixing with these balls of light and making a fantastic light show.  I also saw the symbols that she was using to attune me.  In an instant I understood what all of this means… I felt many souls were present and that I had been blessed with these visions.  Amazing is the only word I can think of to describe what I saw and felt.
We of course had a whole lot of time since I was the only student and she decided to teach me the chair method by demonstrating on me.  I was all for this, we all know that sometimes a chair is easier than setting up a table.  She started at the top of my head and I could immediately feel tingling all over my scalp, at the same time I felt relaxed and totally open.  When she got to my neck, I felt something lift from me-and so did she.  I have a small problem with my neck and this totally went away.  Next was my shoulders and I immediately felt like something heavy had been removed.  A wonderful light feeling was growing all over me.  Next she did my chest and since I have Asthma, this took a few minutes.  I could feel my lungs clearing and my breathing got easier and easier.  All good!  When she got to my Solar Plexus, she paused and said “We have to do something about this block”.  I asked her what she meant and she told me that THIS is where I’ve been storing all of the negative, all of the ugly and all of the stuff I pick up that’s not good for me.  She said this is why I can’t lose weight.  She finished what she was doing and said we should take a break.  We talked and then it was time for me to sit in the chair again.  This time she said that we were going to try something a little more advanced on my block.  She then guided me to ask my body to show me where this block was coming from, and I immediately said my heart.( I have been suffering with severe heartburn for over a year now.)  Before the words were out of my mouth, I started “spontaneously crying”. We went on a journey and she was trying to remove this block but I was pushing back and wouldn’t let this happen.  (Of course, I had no idea I was doing this.)  She called on my Guardian Angel and Spirit Guides to help me.   She also called on Haley’s Guides and Angels to help us since the majority of these issues deal directly with living with her, and being on the receiving end of the constant poison she spews at me daily. Now this is where things get really interesting and a little overwhelming too.  The mental illness Haley has makes it imperative that I NOT react to anything like I normally would-unless I want a pitched battle on my hands that will end badly every time.  So, apparently I’ve been stuffing all of this for so long that I’ve wound up with this major block that’s actually making me physically ill.  By this I mean, major aches and pains, weight gain, sadness, anxiety, sleeplessness-there’s a pretty big list of minor things all leading up to a general feeling of NOT Good.  I can’t seem to access happy or any real emotion for that matter in a way that’s normal for me.  I know some will understand this and others are already thinking I’ve lost my mind, but really, I don’t think I could make this stuff up if I had to.  Now keep in mind this was happening fairly quickly.  I took a very deep breathe and I could suddenly sense that the room was full.  It actually felt a little crowded.  I could feel a difference in the temperature and the smell of something similar to sugar cookies was overwhelming but not unpleasant.  This whole experience overwhelmed me to the point that I was crying and didn’t even know it…I don’t cry, hardly ever…  I couldn’t stop this if I wanted to.  I tried to open my eyes and someone (something) gently laid there hand over my eyes and I could only see outlines of what was in the room, sort of like looking through a filter and then, it was too much and I closed my eyes again, the hand went away and then I felt warm all over, a feeling of being wrapped in something very loving is the best way I can describe this. And then my teacher said, “Are you ready to find this pain and let it go?”  I said no.  She said “can you let it go if you don’t have to look at it?”  I said yes.  I then saw a crowd or circle of people digging a giant hole, a hole so ugly and dark and deep that I was immediately afraid.  They kept digging, and when the time was right, they pulled out all of the ugly and I wrapped this in white light, making a box out of it- a box wrapped in bright white light.  I then gave this box to the universe, down a large black hole that seemed to be in outer space somewhere and the box was gone-dispersing as it went. I was shown a symbol that I should look for to know I’m being guided. I saw an emerald green pyramid, or triangle.  After this I felt totally wiped out and I couldn’t go on anymore…my teacher said we are not done here but, we have to stop, we thanked everyone who had helped and just like that, the room cleared!  (The constant smell of sugar cookies stayed with me well into the next day.)
I felt so wrung out and tired after this that I really just wanted to go home and process all of the things that happened.  I was still very unsettled and crying when I left and couldn’t seem to get myself “in hand”.  I tried to speak with Bill about what all happened and I know he couldn’t understand what I was saying or figure out why I was crying…this is just not normal for me.  I was so unsettled that I wasn’t sure exactly what to do.  I emailed Melinda Carver and asked her to help me figure out what was going on and how to get myself under control.  She was very helpful and suggested I wasn’t grounded enough before I left my Reiki Master.  I used a clear quartz point on my solar plexus and when I first put this on, I felt like I was going to vomit.  I’ve never had such a strong reaction from a crystal before so, I just waited and within minutes, the feeling passed and I started to feel more calm.  I followed this up with carnelian which seemed much gentler and more soothing.  Melinda suggested I scream into a pillow to get rid of the feeling I had that something was stuck in my throat.  By the time I went to bed, I felt immensely better and was able to start thinking clearly about what all had happened and the things I learned in class.  I dreamed that I was on a path in a wooded area, the sun was shining but it was filtered light because of the trees.  I was following someone but couldn’t see who this was.  I felt safe, happy, and content, like I was doing exactly what I was supposed to.  Very peaceful was the feeling I got from this walk down the path.  When I woke Sunday morning, I felt like a whole new person!  I was calm, at peace and felt better than I have in years.  I got an email from the teacher asking me how I was, and it occurred to me that I should have called her and told her what I was feeling-anyway, I explained everything and she has offered to help me work through this.  I look forward to this because I now realize how “stuffing my feelings” has affected me over the past several years. 
In a few short hours I was able to see just how much “ugly” I’ve been holding in and now I know I have the ability to get rid of it and move on in life.  If you are someone who believes everything has a reason for happening, you can understand just how all of these things have come together at just the right time in my life.  I feel blessed to be learning from a teacher who really cares about the people she’s teaching.  I feel blessed that I was allowed to see the things I’ve seen. 
It’s hard to explain all of the things that have taken place in the last week but, it’s been very different for me, the small things seem so unimportant and I feel peace.  My dreams have taken on a whole new dimension too.  I can sense and feel things that I never noticed before-it seems I’m more open now. 
One very important lesson I learned was that we must be grounded.  It makes me think that I wasn’t taking that part of Reiki serious enough so I was shown (the hard way) why it’s important.  I can still smell sugar cookies from time to time especially when I’m driving or just before falling asleep at night.  This immediately makes me feel calm and peaceful. 
So, there you have my latest adventure and hopefully there’s something of interest there for you.   Just in case you’re wondering, the green triangle has shown up in a few places already-especially in dreams, all triangles and the number three seem to jump out at me in the most peculiar places.  Also interesting: my Birth Cards are The Hanged Man and The Empress:  The number three.  
Since this last Attunement, my intuition is off the charts.  It seems as though a veil has been lifted and I’m able to see things even more clearly than before. 
I have still not been able to fully articulate what I saw during the journey.  I tried to explain this to a couple of good friends and I realize that my words just can’t come close to relating an experience that was so powerful.  I’ve always been able to sense, see and know all sorts of things but, this was beyond what’s normal for me.   Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope you’ve enjoyed what details I could give about the most incredible experience of my life.  This has forever changed me.  I know I have much spiritual work to do and I feel like I’m on my way!
**A note of the three cards I drew:
In this Knight, we see someone that’s methodical, doing all of the things that need to be done.  In this case, I feel strongly that this represents how things are for me right now-a constant motion but never really accomplishing anything.  There is so much opportunity around him and he’s so focused on his responsibilities that he can’t even see this.  He lives his life as if in a trance, same old routine, same old stuff, day after day.  The “heart of the matter”:  The Six of Cups.  This one really gave me pause…could it literally be telling me that a child is the “heart of the matter”?  I think it’s more of a message to let go of all of the things that I have tried to “fix” in the past.  You cannot change a person and you cannot live their life for them.  I get a sense of past mistakes or expectations that were never met.  The Five of Pentacles:  Well, the effects of stress can cause physical illness.  Also, there’s a sense of eventually finding peace or refuge.  This won’t be easy and there will be hardship but, all is not lost.








2 comments:

  1. Mary,
    What a moving, deep, important story. It's amazing how deep you went and how much you accomplished. Keep writing! I'll keep reading!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Deb! Reiki is slowly changing my life one block at a time...

    ReplyDelete